
Relational Trauma
When you've learned to blame yourself for everything, you are not the problem.

Relational Trauma
When you've learned to blame yourself for everything — you're not the problem. It's the trauma speaking.
Relational Trauma
Relational trauma does not always stem from a single dramatic event. It is often shaped through repeated experiences in relationships that were supposed to be safe — with parents, partners or significant others — and leaves deep imprints on the way we perceive ourselves, others and the world.
It may originate in past experiences or re-emerge through current situations and relationships that act as triggers — bringing back feelings and reactions that seem disproportionate but carry full logic within your personal history.
Relational trauma affects your sense of self-worth, your ability to trust, the way you handle conflict and set boundaries, and the relationships you choose — or avoid.
It doesn't mean you are 'broken'. It means you learned to survive in conditions you should never have had to face alone.


What Relational Trauma is
Relational trauma doesn't always stem from a single event. It often develops quietly — through relationships that should have been safe, but weren't. It leaves deep marks on the way you see yourself, trust others, and manage conflict — often without understanding why.
Our Therapeutic Approach for This Area
Recognise the Signs
Feeling that you don't deserve love or respect · difficulty with trust · repeating toxic relationship patterns · intense reactions to triggers that seem 'small' · emotional numbness or difficulty in setting boundaries · a persistent sense that 'something isn't right' without being able to define it.
How We Work
Within a safe, structured space we explore your story together, the patterns that were formed and the way they influence your present. We work with tools from CBT, Narrative Therapy and Trauma-Informed Care — always at your own pace and with respect for your rhythm.
Gradually you gain clarity about what happened and why you reacted as you did. You rebuild your sense of self. You learn to recognise your own boundaries and set them. Your relationships begin to change — not because others change, but because you do.
What Changes
The Therapeutic Approach


Recurring Problematic Relationship Patterns
When you notice that you repeatedly choose the same people, find yourself in the same dynamics, or feel that 'something always goes wrong with you' — that is not bad luck. It is a pattern. And patterns can change.
Narcissistic Abuse


Narcissistic abuse leaves deep imprints on self-perception and the sense of reality. Learn to recognise the patterns and reclaim yourself.
Signs to recognise
• You feel you don't deserve love or respect
• Trusting others is difficult — even those who care for you
• You react intensely to situations others find minor
• Setting boundaries feels difficult or guilt-inducing
• Something feels wrong — but you can't quite name it
These aren't weaknesses. They're the language of trauma.
How we work
We explore your story together — the patterns that repeat, the reactions that hold you back, the relationships that drain rather than nourish.
We work on how past experiences shape the present — and how you can move differently, with more awareness and less self-criticism.
What changes
You begin to understand why you react the way you react — and you stop blaming yourself for it.
You reclaim your sense of self within relationships.
You learn to recognise what you need and to ask for it — with boundaries, with self-respect, without guilt.
FAQ
How do I know if what I'm experiencing is relational trauma?
If you feel that you keep repeating the same patterns, that you struggle to trust yourself or others, that certain reactions seem disproportionate but you can't stop them, or that relationships exhaust you more than they nourish you — these are often signs of relational trauma. You don't need a dramatic event in your past for this to be real. The diagnostic session is exactly the space to explore this together.
Is relational trauma the same as PTSD?No. PTSD is a clinical diagnosis that usually appears after one or more intense, threatening events. Relational trauma refers to the wounds created within relationships — through repeated rejection, neglect, abuse or instability. It doesn't require a 'major' traumatic event to exist.
Is it possible to heal from relational trauma without therapy?
Partial recovery is possible — through supportive relationships, self-awareness and time. But the specific mechanisms of relational trauma — automatic patterns, nervous system dysregulation, deep core beliefs — are most effectively addressed within a structured therapeutic relationship. Not because you cannot do it alone, but because the relational nature of the wound often requires a relational context for healing.
Can relational trauma begin in childhood?
Yes — and it most often does. When our earliest relationships with caregivers were characterised by instability, emotional unavailability, neglect or abuse, the nervous system learns to operate in a state of alert. These patterns are then transferred silently into adult relationships. Recognising their origin is one of the most important steps in the therapeutic process.
Can I change patterns I've had for years
Yes — and this is one of the most important things to know. The patterns were formed because they once served a purpose. They can be reshaped through conscious, structured work. Change doesn't require 'breaking something' — it requires building something new.
When is the right time to seek help?
You don't need to be in crisis. If you feel that something keeps repeating, that relationships exhaust you more than they nourish you, or that you're struggling to trust yourself — that is reason enough to begin.

Take the First Step
The first diagnostic session is free.
No commitment required
— just your wish to talk.

Take the First Step
The first diagnostic session is free.
No commitment required
— only your wish to talk.
Lilika Vergi | Counselling & Psychotherapy
Based in Patras, I work primarily online with Greek speakers across Greece and worldwide.
In-person sessions also available on request.
Phone
lilika@lilikavergi.com
+30 261 301 7155
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+30 694 843 3590
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Agias Varvaras 57, Akteo Riou, 265 04, Patras
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